ANDREA SCHWARTZ - ROLL UP - WHITE WALLS

08.07.13



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Andrea Schwartz Gallery: Word Perfect. Guest curated by Danielle Steel.

Artists: Cara Barer, Seamus Conley, Eric Michael Corrigan, Mitch Jones, Long-Bin Chen, Jerry Kunkel, Lucky Rapp, Danielle Steel.

Comment by AB: Prolific and renowned romance novelist Danielle Steel curates an annual show at Andrea Schwartz Gallery, this particular episode amounting to an aesthetic romp through the realm of words. Steel spares no exclamation points in conveying the momentousness of the occasion... "Words are powerful, and when you find the perfect word, you know it, and it hits you right between the eyes!!! Word perfect!!!"

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Roll Up Gallery: Poop is Art and Vice Versa - Guillermo Sanchez and Rafael Saenz.

Comment by AB: This show is complete shit. No really. It's art made with, featuring, and themed on shit, or as the artists prefer to call it, poop. So the deal is that this one-night event is actually a promo for I Poop You, a professional poop delivery service. If you know a special someone who deserves to have shit mailed directly to their door, then this newly established enterprise is a godsend for you. Plus special added bonus-- they handle nothing but the finest in excrement. According to the website, their "product consists of High Quality, farm raised and Eco-Friendly, hand-picked animal poop." It's just that simple and no more complicated.

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White Walls Gallery: Sex+Design Presents the SF launch of BRAVE NEW WORLD.

Comment by AB: This event celebrates the release of issue #4 of the magazine Sex+Design. I peruse its pages get a quick impression of the contents. I'm thinking I might take a copy home and review it in greater detail, but am told it's for sale for $20, $5 off the regular $25 issue price (such a deal). When I ask why so expensive, I'm informed that this isn't really a magazine, but rather a coffee table book (even though it's a magazine), and that magazines (or coffee table books or whatever they decide to call it) are slowly becoming extinct, so that makes it a collectors item. Uh OK. If you say so.

Meanwhile over at the bar, I ask for a red wine, and even though there are no signs stating that this is a cash bar, and even though the event's press release clearly states that this is a free event and that the cocktails are "sponsored by Pisco Porton and Drambuie," I'm informed AFTER the wine is poured and handed to me that there's a $7 charge. Not the way to promote your product, folks. Let me outta here!!

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